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I need advice from women who have dated gay men, and not discovered until later?
i have dated a gay man before and this sight was not pretty for me because he got all sexual with me and he slept with me before and he had sex with me and he got me pregnat.
Yet when fears are triggered - fears of losing the other through rejection or abandonment, or of losing yourself and being controlled by your partner - the stress response is automatically activated and you find yourself fighting or shutting down. The moment there is tense energy between you and your partner, it is best for both of you to walk away from the conflict for at least 15 minutes.
Now matter how much you tell yourself that next time you will respond differently, the moment fear is activated you automatically attack, defend, yell, blame, or shut down through compliance or withdrawal. During this time, you can calm down and do some inner work.
The thing is, I just started wondering if he is gay. Like he told me he is annoyed with girls (his ex girlfriend ended it after a few years) and he did not contact me very much the way another guy would. Being annoyed with women isn't necessarily the same as being gay.