dr phil recommends dating before marriage - Asian parents and interracial dating
The Chinese came to traditionally view daughters as less valuable because the girls would leave them, often to a different village altogether.Even though Chinese American parents don’t expect for their daughters to be moving into her husband’s parent’s household, they still expect their daughter to spend more time pleasing and taking care of her new set of parents.
It certainly can feel that way sometimes (and sometimes it is that way), but I think for the majority, the core of the matter has nothing to do with racism, and everything to do with our immigrant parents wanting to be able to communicate with their new son or daughter-in-law, along with adapting to different customs and cultures.
Our parents have left their native homes and joined a community where they do not speak the language (at least not strongly enough to have a political or philosophical conversation).
There’s a bit of a rift between cultures, and it’s not always so easy to overcome.
Because my boyfriend and his family are white, I often wonder whether my parents and his parents actually understand how to behave around one another.
It’s the divergence in cultures that can be hard on Chinese parents, especially with things like “keeping face,” “face” meaning reputation and honor.